I know that you’re exhausted.
I know that you’re confused.
But something is nudging you (though more likely dragging you, screaming at you) to look closely at a feeling that your instinct is trying to bring to light.
Something needs tending here. It might be your relationship with someone else, or it might be your relationship with yourself (as it was for me). You might be reading this letter in your car in the parking lot of the grocery story, or stealing away on your lunch hour to read it in the bathroom where no one will see you. I know that you’re tired of the weight of this secret that you carry with you, that it feels like a ten pound stone in your gut. And I know that all the options before you feel equally terrifying, no matter what you might choose.
Your feelings aren’t “crazy”. You’re not broken. You’re searching for answers, and you’re honoring a persistent voice that’s asking to be heard. These feelings won’t likely go away if you just keep forging ahead and ignoring them. They need to be worked through. They need to be brought into light. Feelings like this don’t get resolved alone and hidden in the dark.
This is your own precious life, sweet one. You get to decide. You get to choose.
I’m here in the dark and silent fear with you because I’ve been there before.
I’m sitting beside you, and I know that if you need to make this decision, you absolutely can.
With you and your tired heart,